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Dec 28

Ego Maniacal Web Design


2017 is nearly over, and my friends and luscious followers... I have opinions. Dear God I've been making money online since 2010, and it still always becomes about looking back at what went wrong or could have gone better. I sold some books, but has anyone ever sold nearly enough books to be happy about it? I've sold services, but again I'd have loved to have done 20 times the volume of work that I have done. Is it because I wasted years marketing essentially to the poor, or is it something else?  Something harder to spot?

Sales Funnels Are For Zombies 

I used to pick on the info graphics people. I even managed to convert a few to illustrators for children's books and watched them enjoy the same fruitless adventure of trying to get people excited at the prospect of what they were doing. The internet isn't really that fickle, but it is hard to scream loud enough to drown out the masses selling followers, or crappy beats, or whatever fidget spinners people are interested in these days. Once upon a time I'd have even put a book link into this article, in the vain and or desperate hope that someone would want to read more of my narrative. Alas I know what many of my readers think. They either already know all they wish to and secretly hope I die of cancer, or maybe they actually wish to know my every thought and by proxy, wish were my real life "besty." This is how some blogs make us seem, I was certainly no exception.

Egomania Sells Indifference

"Online" it can be a daunting challenge to demonstrate that you are doing things with: "The skill approaching that of a surgeon." without sounding like you have a God complex. This is doubly true when what you need to show off is something that most people probably don't actually need, (or care about.) You'll discover that as you plod on pedantically you do start to sound crazy. Now, let's assume you are 25% -100% of newcomers to online business in this similar situation, but of course you still need to sell something online. How will you do such a thing without scaring off the 3 people who aren't bored by the time they have read this far into your blog? 

The Focus Is Of Course, Supposed To Be On Your Reader

Should I put a giant red rocket ship logo here and tell you how awesome I think I am, or should I ask you what you really need, or want? You see, In real life if I came running up to you with a giant sign or a placard covered in factoids you would probably taser me repeatedly. Deservedly so. After all, who doesn't like the idea of violently shocking the "know it all" until his lip quivers, and then telling him it's his own fault for being annoying. Maybe that sounds harsh but if you don't understand what your google analytics is telling you, and your people leave within 12 seconds of landing on your page, it's pretty much the same sentiment. You might just be the guy or girl who just makes people want to gently nudge you into an actual snake pit, and while the internet itself won't tell you, in about 6 months those analytics and that empty sales report will.

Become An Acquired Taste?   

2018 is going to be the year we all secretly gather and mock the experts - except that actually started already, way back in middle school. Weren't you ever involved in that part of adolescence? The part where the people acting too mature, too staunch, or too serious, were the butt of every joke? Didn't you wonder where that went? That should have been a red flag. The cool kids hate you now, or are at least indifferent, because they can not relate to your O.C.D. about whatever you are trying to get them excited about. It may be that you are however potentially, a nerd magnet. At least the nerds love debating about whether it's a good idea to try to setup: "Multiseat Linux on a VM in a cloud and then clone it till the ram is gone..." I'm actually doing something like that as we speak. - #NerdsRock - Being an acquired taste is actually pretty good, but really you'll still have to try to keep it "about the customer." Because you can't prove anything if nobody is listening. 

That's My 2018 Advice To Startups 

Yes, as simple as that, and for crying out loud quit trying to make your own websites. Everything that impresses you about your idea has been done so many times that most of us puke when we see it now. I'm no exception, in fact I still try to be sympathetic when I get a sales link via Twitter, when what I want to do is mercy kill their internet connection and convince them to sell grapes individually instead. In fact you would generally make more money as a vagrant who literally robs children, than to be a new Amazon author these days, or I'd be writing this from a yacht. Maybe on a champagne label, with a gold quill... That would be epic.


 
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